Life becomes a great Song Title

According to my friend Christen, this crazy woman lives across the street. Here are the things she says screaming on the phone at people while on her front porch:

"how can you enjoy sex if your pussy is the size of a fucking watermelon, bitch?"

"they're all jealous of me becuse they're fat ugly bitches who can't get dates"

I just find this truly amazing. I wish I had interesting neighbors, and the not the kind that bring your family to court because they are too shady to have the kind of homeowners insurance that covers a tree falling onto their car, meanwhile building decks and renting out a basement apartment without permits.

Anyways, my stomach is eating itself. time for foood and a haircut. I promise to post again sooner than however long it's been. I know I suck. But I still love you all (except for you, you there, picking your teeth with the matchbook cover from that dive).