Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Punk Rock Midget

I found these lyrics on the back of a flier for a show at Ren's House in Lynbrook. A lot of my friends know the person referred to in these lyrics, which are probably 5 years old at least. I still have never met her, though I do know who she is.

Punk Rock Midget

Punk rock midget
You disturb me greatly
Punk rock midget
Why were you sent here?
Punk rock midget
It's nothing personal, but
Punk rock midget
You scare the bejeezus out of me.

You go to all the punk rock shows
you've got a piercing in your nose
You've got really short, spiky hair
just like a punk rock guy
and you're only 3 feet high
Punk rock midget
please tell me why
you make me want to flee in terror

Punk rock midget girl
is there a punk rock midget guy
Do you go home alone after the show
and just lay down and cry
like you make me want to do

Oh, punk rock midget, oh punk rock midget
oh, punk rock midget girl
I hope you find true love
'cause the very thought of you
is just too sad for me to bear
dragging me down like that big backpack you wear
oooh oooh oooh punk rock midget girl

Monday, February 09, 2009

Salon Beards and Korean Instruction Manuals For Life (and how NOT to live it)

Would someone please tell me what I'm doing wrong? I get the feeling lately that the universe is trying to fuck with me. When I was growing up, I was taught to work hard, do what you love when you're not working hard, and everything should fall into place. I don't think this equation works anymore. Or at least, it never seems to work for me.

I must completely suck at life, but I guess that's to be expected when you get the manual and it's all printed in Korean. It's not similar enough to Hebrew for me to even fake understanding it. All the skills I thought I had are becoming more apparent to me to be like how you think you're all smart and special when you're in junior high and high school, until you start applying for colleges and find out that there are literally a million other kids applying for the same schools and some of them never got a 64 in Calculus in 12th grade. Although I do wonder how many of them broke up with their 8th grade girlfriend who went to another school because one dude said she was a slut.

They say good things come to those who wait and also that if you aren't looking for it, you will get it. Well, I'm 35 now, so how much more waiting do I have to do? As far as not looking for it, the only thing I'm not looking for is a punch in the nose, so I suppose tomorrow morning will greet me with one of those.

But enough about me, maybe its time for me to rant about something else that is driving me crazy. I was watching the new "90210" the other night and some shitty band that should be selling motor oil and beer was playing a party. Not only was the music trite and watered down, but they had perfectly trimmed beards that looked like they were done in a salon. SALON BEARDS!!! That is what music is to people? Manufactured pabulum with salon beards???? So of course, now VH1 is telling us that you oughta know about them. Also, I am not mentioning their name because I do not want to help their hype machine.

Go and listen to this band instead:
The Capstan Shafts.
I highly recommend 2007's Environ Maiden as a starting point.