Sunday, February 16, 2003

Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite, I should update this blog. I updated the House of Chicken & Waffles yesterday, though. Or something like yesterday. Every day is tomorrow's yesterday anyway. But yeah, so it's two whole weeks since I last, posted here. Not Catholic, heh heh. My life is the same as it always is, except the hours are different every so often. And the people... there seems to be an everchanging circle of friends and acquaintances that drift in and out on differently-shaped orbits, I suppose you could say. Like that whole deal with Uranus and Pluto trading places and stuff. Some people drift in, others drift out, then they drift out and back in again, and these friends are like Superman and Clark Kent -- never in the same room at the same time; and then you start to wonder if people really do still exist if you don't call them or hear from them in some way or another. I've mused on the topic of two-dimensional extras before, so I won't go back into that, but there's that other type of person, though... the mysterious type. Said person could be a ninja wearing a red question mark for all you know, and they are climbing your roof right now and drugging your puppy so it won't bark... say, what is the differnece between a ninja and a cat burglar, anyway? My guess is a few grand in jewels vs. cool weapons. I just want one of those hooks to climb up things with. Not houses, necessarily, just tall buildings you can grab the roof of with your grappling hook. I wanna grapple. Rapple dapple. You know what I've never understood? Caramel apples. Why? Maybe I'm being presumptuous, but that is just too messy an invention to actually eat. I have never had a caramel apple in my life. I just can't.

But all that aside, it's funny (strange, not ha-ha, maybe a little of both, perhaps?) how people and their roles in your life can change like the atmosphere when the high pressure system moves northeast as the low pressure system moves southeast and they hit each other and you get precipitation... actually, it's not like that at all. Maybe it's more like when you're in Florida for some god-forsaken reason, and there is rain on the other side of the street from where you are standing, staring dumbfounded at the rain that is falling on the other side of the street, but not, however, where you are standing. Whereas most clouds play the zone defense, the rain clouds in Florida like to play the one-on-one defense. Some people play the zone defense in a friendship. They hang around in groups and cover a wide area, but there are big gaps in some places, so you may not see them much for long stretches of time, and trying to tackle them - well, you don't tackle the defense usually, but...hmmm...well, if your friend is playing a zone defense, but you're trying to score time with them, then it's almost the opposite effect. Damn. Well, shit...but for arguments sake...let's make the end zone something else...let's say the end zone is bad. Well, for you, also... Yeah, they leave too big a gap and you can fall through the holes, and for some people (like myself) who are convinced that the world revolves around themselves, this is difficult to handle, and often leads to a number of complexes. It's almost like having too many friends for your own good. And you constantly play catch-up for the weeks or months you've been in absentia.

And then there's the one-on-one friends -- they always seem to be around when you want them to be, and even if they're busy it doesn't seem to matter; things always end up working out, or at least they sort of do. They make you feel like your time is important and valuable. And many of us want to feel that way, but I know plenty of people who cannot hang out one-on-one; they are so uncomfortable with the idea of it. And they hang out in big groups of constantly changing people, to avoid confronting responsibilities, the truth, and ultimately, themselves. And it is sad to me to see people who have such great potential, but can't see it in themselves, or won't. Also, I think that used to be me. But now I don't care what anybody thinks (but secretly I do) because I am finally comfortable with myself, and I know what I am capable of, and I'm pretty confident that I don't suck. But I just want my friends to be happy, at least with themselves.

At this point, I've been up for 19 hours, and I only got 4 hours of sleep yesterday, and I have another 12 hours of work ahead of me tonight. So I have no idea what my point was, except that it's weird the way roles can shift amongst friends. But I guess it's one of those things that keeps life interesting.

Goodnight. I go sleep now.


No comments:

Post a Comment